| 96,000 |
[Dec. 17th, 2008|11:36 am] |
it's easy when we get into these crazy hypotheticals
you really want some bread then go create a set of goals
and cross them off the list as you pursue em'
and with those ninety six i know precisely what i'm doin
prattles of updates, since it's been way too long, and pretty words were never my strongest point:
my application for employment in canada's being processed. if all goes well, my interviews will be held in january (next month!) and if i make it through, i fly off in april or may. i ask for prayers.
with my flight coming up, that means honey and i will be getting married soon as well. how soon? around a week or two before my flight, so everything's still up in the air. we have a couple of non-negotiables already, but that's about it.
of course we want a very very nice wedding. naturally i'd want it to be set in a nice hotel/garden/resort, all formal and elegant. but i'm realistic about my budget (since we may be spending at least Php100k for my canada application), and God has given me peace in the fact that i can have the wedding meant for me without all the traditional bells and whistles that usually go with it. it could be the grand wedding of my dreams, but i'd be happy even if it were a small, not too formal garden/rooftop wedding. the wedding is about me and honey. for me, that's what matters.
but, small wedding or no, certain expenses are unavoidable. honey and i are doing what we can right now to save up: on the little things, on the big things. help, tips, suggestions are more than welcome! i'm especially thankful for mia, who has graciously volunteered to be my pro-bono wedding planner (please pray for her patience, strength, and ability to find suppliers!)
words cannot justify how happy and thankful i am, even in the middle of all the small family and big monetary issues i'm faced with. these are the situations God throws my way to remind me of my humanity, and i decide to face what i can face without grief. grief and comfort were never my strongest points either. so many things to look forward to! a new life in a new place and in a new name! please pray for strength for us to be able to not just get through it, but meet the goals we have set for us to go through (number one goal: debt relief).
so that's my big update. funny how money's needed to make things go easier, but at least now it's just a question on how to come up with it instead of moping that i don't have it, right?
haaaay, i'm annoyingly happy that even i annoy myself. |
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| growing up |
[Feb. 14th, 2008|02:43 pm] |
trying things, being flexible, bending with the road...
can't pursue every possible path...
okay, so it has been, like, a million years since i last updated, but i'm still here. at least for now. pardon the incoherent post.
too many changes have happened, decisions made, and plans to finalize, but the big picture looks highly promising.
i miss theatre so much, but it wouldn't be right for me to get involved in it at this time. pressing priorities dictate so, but i will always come back to it. (there will always be nanay or lola roles if i'm to perform again)
i've welcomed honey (yes, kids, that's his real name) into my life, and i don't remember being as happy as i am now with him. i like who i am when i'm with him and i guess that's a very good sign. his family's nice, and my family seems to take to him as well. he'll be working in another company soon, but that's okay. we both have plans. yes, we're praying we're the ones for each other na talaga. todo na 'to. i mean, he took me to the hospital and endured my screams when a dog bit me in the face (and endured my screams all throughout 11 anti-rabies-etc. shots), took me to the hospital and endured more screams when the doctors and nurses played "find joy's vein for her IV fluids" when i got diagnosed for dengue, and got me a nonstick frying pan. i tell you, it's love.
work-wise, there's hope for promotion, the possibility of working in another company and/or another country (prayer requests!)
i miss my goyles.
i miss charrie.
there are so many other things i want to do right now. and i kinda find it nicely funny that i don't feel like i'm missing out. |
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| that smile |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|06:33 am] |
i know you're capable of glowing in the dark
and i know you're kissable for grinning up that spark
for one thing, i now have object-of-kilig. god did a great job forming him. he is muse. 'nuff said. hurhur.
and when you smile that sunrise way you do
you write a lesson in the art of sliding through the most of everything
though the aftermath of wednesday's carnage still are definite within me, events from friday night onwards turned my disposition around.
kicking off the happy streak was a reunion with eena and teresa, my friends since grade school who i haven't seen in far too long. it was just a dinner meet, but oh, the hours we spent just talking and talking. eena had to go home after dinner, and teresa and i parted ways before 2am.
the admin team with doc brown and his wife spent most of the day here at home for our first team building. oodles of fun, with food, karaoke, and videos of doc brown dancing.
minutes after they all left, i had to get ready to watch blueRep's high school musical. don and i had to go back home because we forgot our tickets, but we made it in just the nick of time.
and, oh, when the show started, i had a weird smile on my face every time my friends went onstage. energy was overflowing, and in my mind, i was following my friends, saying "ooh! it's harold!" or "ooh! it's ren!"
i couldn't help it! i had such a great time seeing them dance like i've never seen them before.
harold-lurve totally stood out from all the jocks, totally giving it all. as in there was heart in his moves.
ren! oh, renren's costumes! his bad audition scene! his chicken walk! aaaaah! the joy in his face! his crazy boots!
toff, being his usual adorable self. it's not very often i see toff perform, and he is simply adorable!
and this, being blueRep, of course i got to see the people i've worked with in merrily we roll along in 2004:
shark as troy. ay, that boy! he made the cheesy lines not cheesy. i swear, the boy is a chameleon! i hope he gets more roles that will showcase his versatility as an actor.
kakki has ultimate star power. it's certain she will, will, WILL go far in her professional career. can i be her agent?
i'm happy for rolls. is all. having worked with blueRep and keep call center hours, and still able to give a hyper-energetic performance that's perfect for the show.
altair was a delight to watch. i know that he comes from a family of performers, but i''ve actually never heard him sing (whoa) or see him dance (whoa!) such a happy surprise!
pom never fails to disappoint. he's definitely not the scrawny willard i met in footloose 3 years ago. i've heard that he's learned so much is applying it in whatever he can.
andrei did a great job as production manager (?). mahar did cosutmes (kudos!), and darling mimay did an excellent job with the projections (as easy as getting straight head shots in counterstrike).
after the show, ren dragged me around, introducing me to the rest of the cast i haven't met yet. and for the record, i will get toff for showing the side show video around. i think i could've bought me a real nice dinner if i got 50 bucks for every "you're from side show?" i got. (so gigo gets plus points for mentioning that he heard from me from harold and ren).
all in all, i had great fun watching my friends. yes, i'm totally looking forward to seeing it again this friday, with teena this time. and yes, i'm sure we'll have a great time. such fun! at least i'll know i'll have a sure antidote if i get a hellish week again, so bring it on! |
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| snow day |
[Feb. 21st, 2007|05:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
it's a bad day
it's a long ride
it's a bad day.
and events conspire for it to be so before i've had my morning coffee (and to settle a bad day score, too. quits?):
- i wake up later than usual
- my dog chewed on the legs of my jeans.
- it's laundry day.
- it's a bad hair day, too.
- i forgot my phone at home.
- my contact lens gets ripped when something got caught in my eye while crossing ayala.
- i get 80some emails, mostly requests for adjustments (as the finance deadline for payroll requests is tomorrow)
- my intelligence was insulted.
- the flailing chicken died
- my source-of-kilig crush got a boyfriend.
- i get random text messages from people i clearly do not want to associate with when i finally got my phone back at lunch..
first by mind, then by music
you'll make this all less confusing.
it's a slow dive down,
a fast distraction,
a strange fall forward -
my lame reaction.
the death of the flailing chicken pretty much dragged me down, admittedly. it was a clumsy death. it realized it should've stopped breathing a long time ago. and then it just did. i loved that flailing chicken, juvenile and naive as she was.
it's a sinking feeling,
pulls me through the seat of chairs.
when will you come rescue me,
find solace, and then take me there?
it's one of those days that you wish you can say exactly what you want to say to everyone else. but then you know better, so shut up, scream inside, and hope it'll all go away soon, but it doesn't.
i rationalize, and it should make sense. and everything does! which makes it even more irritating.
don't worry, friends. this is just a moment of instability, and a bit of fury. i'll come back to my usual senses soon... after i stop seeing red.
you're not too tired for this life,
and it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice.
yes, goyles. twice in a row. and as much as you roll eyes and sigh, it's gonna happen again.
just not now. at this state, i'll probably end up destroying myself with what unwanted things that would come my way in the next 12 hours.
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| happy days are here again |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|10:34 am] |
happy days are here again
the skies above are clear again
----------------------------------------------
TEENA IS BACK!!!!
it was one of the best surprises ever pulled off by my friends. harold, ren, mia, and even my own mother knew that she was coming back yesterday and managed to withhold that information from me until i had to see teena with my very eyes in cbtl greenhills, causing me to scream and swear in more or less choked-up decibels.
gulay, how i missed this woman! i had so many plans on what to do when she'd get back from the states pa naman! of course i'm totally unprepared to execute them right this very moment, but the happiness of her being here supercedes whatever frustration for not going through whatever plan right now.
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| the perfect year |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|07:02 pm] |
it's new year's eve, and hopes are high
dance one year in, kiss one good-bye
another chance, another start
so many dreams to tease the heart
i don't need a crowded ballroom
everything i want is here
if you're with me, next year will be
the perfect year
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| 99.5 ˚F |
[Dec. 24th, 2006|03:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pleased | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | it's only life | ] |
99.9 fahrenheit degrees
stable now, with rising possibilities
it could be normal but it isn't quite
could make you want to stay awake at night
2006 has been quite a whirlwind of events, and the last few days of it took unexpected turns that leads 2007 to be an even more interesting year. so many things to look forward to:
the gargoyles have found a very fun yet cost-effective way to celebrate usual and random occasions. picnic-ing is the lurve.
the groundwork for roofdeck productions is getting set up rather well, with the help of wonderful and exceedingly competent people. (thanks, rhem, jonas, chari, tita grace, and everyone else who has been helping). true, we're behind schedule, but all for good reason. our first event will happen, and when it does, it'll be worth the wait.
so many wonderful productions to look forward to watch or hope to be part of (the vagina monologues, avenue q, cinderella, fiddler on the roof).
teena might come back home. yehey!!!!
yes, 2007 promises to be an interesting year. |
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| heart and music |
[Dec. 4th, 2006|10:23 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | meme | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A New Brain OBCR | ] |
i have so many songs, i have so many songs
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
Opening Credits: I Only Wanna Be With You - Vonda Shepard
Waking Up: Breathless – The Corrs
First Day of School: Alone In The Universe – Seussical The Musical
Falling in Love: Why Don’t You And I – Santana feat. Alex Band
Fight Song: Here’s Where The Story Ends – The Sundays (“people I see wary of me showing my good side…”)
Breaking Up: Don’t You Forget About Me – Simple Minds (bwahahaha!!!!)
Prom: Thank You - Dido
Life's just ok: Opening Doors – Merrily We Roll Along
Mental Breakdown: Just My Imagination – Babyface and Gwenyth Paltrow
Driving: Give Me A Reason – The Corrs
Flashback: Don’t Look Back In Anger - Oasis
Getting Back Together: Running Away - Hoobastank
Birth of Child: Soak Up The Sun – Sheryl Crow
Wedding: Learning To Breathe - A Walk to Remember OST
Finale Battle: Just Like A Pill - Pink
Death Scene: Family History – A New Brain
Funeral Song: Fields of Gold - Sting
End Credits: Letting You Go – Lauren Kennedy |
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| sailing |
[Nov. 12th, 2006|05:36 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | a new brain soundtrack | ] |
i'd rather be sailing, yes, i would
on an open sea
i'd stand at the railing if i could,
feeling wild and free
current circumstances give me reason to take things in slightly different perspectives, eventually leading me to a period of re-discovery and re-affirmation.
the process isn't the best, but i'm sort of glad i'm going through this.
sex is good, but i'd rather be sailing
food is nice, but i'd rather be sailing
i briefly went through a period of needing instant gratification, now realizing that sushi, pasta, junk food and even intimacy can't help me through this lull. contrary to some cliches, there are some things that need to be done alone.
people are swell, but i'd rather be sailing
into the horizon
of course, this is taking its toll on my social life. i am grateful for people who are giving me this much needed space right now. it's a pleasant validation, realizing that alone doesn't necessarily mean lonely. i'm just getting used to walking around in my own skin, looking for things to like about it (and finding them successfully, little by little).
the sun is on my neck, the wind is in my face
the sea is incredibly blue
and i'd rather be sailing
yes, i'd wanna go sail
and then come home to you.
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| angels would fall |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|10:43 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | kikay | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | office | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | quirky | ] |
i've crept into your temple
i have slept upon your pew
i've dreamed of the divinity
inside and out of you
i want it more than truth
i can taste it on my breath
i would give my life just for a little death
-------------------
this song has been swimming in my head the past couple of weeks. must be the influx of fictional males invading my mind. the participation of the-most-unattainable-object-of-my-affection-in-this-world in my dreams (yes, plural) last night doesn't help either.
yan tuloy, i woke up with a headache.
dreams of fictional and unattainable men aside, i've been under the weather lately. i find myself really tired by 7pm, and feel the need to sleep (which i do, but that's not the point). my appetite's been weird, too. i don't think it's stress, though, since i'm out of rakets as of the moment, with nothing but work and once-a-week voice lessons. que strange.
--------------------
moving to happier thoughts, i've gone online window shopping and found de-stress toys i'd lurve to get my hands on, and never too soon:
gemini polyhedral dice from chessex - and the sick person in me wants them all.
amethyst polyhedral dice - yes, dice goes glam. every girl gamer should have her bling.
philosophy kiss me lip balm in red - yes, tough jump from dice to lips, but kikay is kikay, no matter what field.
pink bento set - another tough jump. but won't this make my baon prettier?
---------------------
*sigh*
another voice lesson tonight, a short get-together with gaming buddies, then homeward bound i go. numb3rs is on tonight, so that's something to try to stay up for.
---------------------
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| 911 Emergency |
[Sep. 12th, 2006|08:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jersey Boys OBCR | ] |
my brother picked this up from one of the forums he's active at:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Denise Joy's Disorder |
| Cause: |
overwork |
| Symptoms: |
receding gums, sweating, extra legs, mildly excess mucus |
| Cure: |
none |
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-yes, i plan to update... soon... :P |
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| opening doors |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|07:10 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | music, theatre | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stephen Sondheim selections | ] |
We're opening doors, singing "Here we are!"
We're filling up days on a dime
That faraway shore's looking not too far
We're following every star
----------------------------------------------
Once upon a time, there were three struggling artists. They shared a love for theater, mineshine milk tea, and musicals with songs of self-flagellation. They met while doing a production of Merrily We Roll Along, a play that struggled to tell a story about struggling artists. They had a wonderful time on the set, parted, and met again (by sheer coincidence!) in another production of Merrily We Roll Along.
As not to lose track of their dreams in between callbacks, they decided to give back to the craft and spread the love. Hence, Asian Theatre Circuit was born.
Just a few days old (beta format, after all), it looks like a blog for now (we'll organize and re-design later). We plan to add more features, such as an event calendar and a forum, among other things.
In a nutshell, we aim for the site to be your one-stop for theatre events in Asia.
Feel free to drop us a line at asiantheatrecircuit@gmail.com for suggestions, comments, announcements (shows, auditions, workshops and the like), etc.
We look forward to hearing from you soon! :) |
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| putting it together |
[Aug. 3rd, 2006|06:55 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | rpg, theatre | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | grateful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sunday in the park with george | ] |
be new, girl!
they tell you till they're blue, girl
you're new, or else you're through, girl
and even if it's true, girl,
you do what you can do!
my first rehearsal for subtext was quite interesting, to say the very least. i felt the pressure the moment niel "introduced" me to my role. wasting no time, he immediately gave me the breakdown on what his vision is. granted that the show's going to be running for the nth time, every show is a new show.
first professional filipino straight dramedy. first in all respects. must remember to breathe.
oh, and i found out that i'll be in the opening cast. no pressure.... none at all...
-----------------------
scene change (mini-rant/rave):
i want to roleplay. just be a character. i suck at character creation. even more at running a campaign. i can't even keep up with (sometimes i don't even care about) stats.
i don't want to be in hardcore gaming circles because i just want to know what's gonna happen to my character next instead of screaming out stats and getting into fights all the time (though a lot of combat stuff is cool).
and i thank the g.m.'s i've encountered who take me under their wings: Wanggo, Mawf, Rick, G.o.M.
i want more of that. so much more. |
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| comedy tonight |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|06:21 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | memes | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | a funny thing happened on the way to the forum | ] |
anything you ask for, comedy tonight!
--------------------------------------
mooched this off che, and i can't help but post the results:
| You Should Be an Actor | 
You have a flair for the dramatic, and you probably already do a lot of acting in your day to day life, just to entertain yourself.
No need to steal the spotlight from your friends... You'll get plenty of attention once you start acting professionally! |
------------------------
i tag: mia, ren, teena, ralph, janine, chrissie, rhodamae... if these things are "taggable" to begin with. |
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| watershed |
[Jul. 27th, 2006|05:55 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | at home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | indigo girls | ] |
and there's always retrospect
(when you're looking back)
to light a clearer path
every five years or so i look back on my life
and i have a good laugh
you start at the top
go full circle round
catch a breeze
take a spill
but ending up where I started again
makes me wanna stand still
----------------------------------------------------------
i turned on the tv to before sunset on hbo last night. i felt that my emotions were ripped out of me and splashed on film reels, where i actually felt myself bleed.
when you can't find the words to describe your own misery, events, nay, the world conspires to rub it in. Hence, we have art. Film, music, literature, theatre. The whole she-bang.
The worst part?
Acknowledging.
Understanding.
Refusing to accept.
Reluctantly doing so.
Then living the next day out as if you've never heard or seen anything in the first place.
Mia put it nicely: Art makes the world a better place. Artists suffer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
from before sunset: (the part where celine loses it in the car)
You know... I was fine. Until I read your fucking book! It stirred shit out from you. It reminded me how... genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things and... now it's like... I don't believe in anything that relates to love, I don't feel things for people anymore. In a way... I put all my romanticism into that one night and I was never able to feel all this again. Like... somehow this night took things away from me and... I expressed them to you and you took them with you! It made me feel cold, like if love wasn't for me!
You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me.
It's funny... Every single of my ex-es... they're now married!
Man go out with me, we break up, and then they get married! And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is, and... that I taught them to care and respect women! You know, I want to kill them!
Why didn't they ask me to marry them? I would have said "No", but at least they could have asked!!!
But it's my fault, I know that it's my fault, because... I never felt it was the right man. Never!
But what does it mean, "the right man"? The love of your life?
The concept is absurd, the idea that we can only be complete with another person is... EVIL!
Right?
You know, I guess I've been heart broken too many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know, from the start, I make no effort.
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| the new world |
[Jul. 22nd, 2006|10:51 am] |
A new world calls across the ocean
A new world calls across the sky
A new world whispers in the shadows
"Time to fly, time to fly..."
-----------------------------------
last week, i went to a reading for koine's subtext. it was a truly pleasant surprise to find out that rehearsals start next week (mini "yay!"). it's a straight play. in filipino. yes, goyles, it's a major change. and later i'll be off to a reading of the importance of being earnest. now, that i'm looking forward to.
-----------------------------------
mia asked me to help her out with her cleopatra monologue for class. i'm enjoying the surge of ideas so far.
-----------------------------------
yesterday, i was greeted by a cheerful "oi!" via ym by enzo. oh, gulay! i didn't realize how much i missed the boy. soooooo much! it was a very very very refreshing, albeit short, chat session. now i have more reason to frequent the alabang area on weekends.
later on, i accompanied mia to her ushering gig in rcbc. there, i saw bluereppers jill, kitten, and another one i missed so much, gabs. oh, it felt so good just being around them for a while.
------------------------------------
last night, i met up with zane. she stayed over, and we had a long-overdue relaxing night, courtesy of faulty wiring, thirteen ghosts, and bridget jones: the edge of reason. we agreed we wanted a mark darcy. we also listened to some "kill me, please kill me now" songs (thank you, jason robert brown and jonathan larson).
-------------------------------------
at the koine briefing, niel de mesa mentioned something that stuck: when you find someone who loves you for what you love about yourself, wow.
"wow" is all.
*sigh*
-----------------------------------
Nobody told you the best way to steer
When the wind starts to blow
And oh, you're suddenly a stranger
And life is different than you planned
And you have to stay
'Til you somehow find a way
To be sure of what will be,
Then you might be free... |
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| i'll be okay |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|04:51 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | girlfriends | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my best friends wedding OST | ] |
life passes so quickly
you gotta take the time
or you'll miss what really matters
you'll miss all the signs
i've spent my life searching
for what was always there
sometimes it will be too late
sometimes it won't be fair
teena, mia and i drove up to antipolo for a weekend retreat of sorts.
simply put, it was just what the doctor ordered.
--------------
discoveries / reaffirmations:
- i hate geckos. they creep the hell out of me.
- there are plenty of places to defile in that house subdivision.
- i miss prayer
- i hate creepy crawlies in general (especially flying roaches and aforementioned noisy geckos.)
- mia writes great poetry
- teena has a secret sleeping habit
- i want my dog to be named javert.
- melon vodka and lemon green tea is a wonderful drink... even at 9 in the morning.
- melon vodka and kool aid strawberry juice is wonderful too.
- the roast chicken from the robinsons supermarket is lurvely, especially when shared with friends.
- i can still write.
- i'm not that scared of the swimming pool.
- check how the shower rod is attached to the wall before pulling your towel off it.
- i can disregard him quite easily. but i don't want to.
- silence isn't always awkward.
- i suck at being a gm.
- check where the shallow end of the pool is before getting in.
- it's okay to miss him.
- singing random songs at the top of your lungs is wonderful.
- getting a house with a huge white attic is a great material goal.
- i should get in touch with good friends again.
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| learning to breathe |
[Jul. 14th, 2006|06:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | teena's | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | different | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | switchfoot | ] |
hello, good morning, how ya do?
what makes your rising sun so new?
i could use a fresh beginning too
all of my regrets are nothing new
-----------
i'm better. thanks to the goyles, charrie and adrien brody.
renren lent me a good dose of adrien brody flicks to help me out of the stress and emo rut, and it worked wonders. (love the hard way is a personal favorite right now, for very, very, very selfish reasons.)
of fresh beginnings, well, i got a 10-inch trim. yes, frank, charley... mary is a boy. |
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